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“We’re described as the perfect couple by friends, we’re thinking about adopting a child.
We don’t need sex.” The biggest incentive to get married is usually the ready access to sex, so a celibate marriage sounds almost self-defeating.
However, there are those who aren’t convinced that sex is the norm in a marriage.
“We’ve had celibate marriages for ages,” said Rajesh, 36, who lives with his “platonic girlfriend”. I’m certain my parents had sex only so that their families got off their case about having a kid.
Earlier this year, the Delhi High Court stated in a judgment that “sex-starved marriages are becoming an undeniable epidemic” in urban India.
“Marriage without sex is an anathema,” declared the court.
However, some married celibates like Rina, claim they can do without any hanky-panky, thank you very much.
Rina’s friend asked how astrology can tell if someone’s married when legal marriages are modern inventions.
The astrologer replied he could tell when a ceremony that leads to a sexual relationship has taken place, and that was interpreted as a wedding. “I’m not sure whether I should look at the bits in horoscopes about singles or the bits about married people,” she said.
Rina’s confusion arises from the fact that hers is a happy but sexless marriage.
Once I was born, it was separate beds even though they were in their late 20s.
It’s not unusual.” Consulting psychotherapist and counsellor, Dr Minnu Bhonsle doesn’t agree.
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“It’s one thing for sex to wane in a marriage,” she said. It’s something else entirely for there to be no sex.