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Spencer couldn't quite believe the 'chavvy' clothes he was wearing, and Gabriella, dumped by Ollie just before he came out, was draped all over him, leading Ollie to exclaim, 'This is all a bit awkward', before she zipped home to write a song for a former winner. His worries over a modelling career - 'I look like a tired Brian May' - have disappeared.
Of course, striking a pose has always been part of his plan.
'When I started in nightlife I was just cleaning up sick in clubs,' he grimaces.
Episode one glided through the immaculately-clad, cut-glass world of SW3, as the lights glittered on more bling than you could shake a Fabergé egg at. And Twitter's favourite: 'Charles Dickens wrote ' (Binky), prompting one user to ask: 'How do they differentiate between sexual partners? 'I suppose it isn't necessarily the ideal time to see rich kids having fun,' admits Spencer Matthews, the 22-year-old foreign exchange trader at the heart of a will-they-won't-they storyline. Let's just say I'm wishing lots of people good luck with their GCSEs right now.' The Twitter bitchiness after episode one has indeed subsided and, just like Ollie, as we got to know the Chelsea set we couldn't help but 'love it all'. But they do agree that it's a hit set to eclipse and Channel 4's most Twittered-about show ever.
Do they tap their heads with a fork and see what note it makes? Spencer flirting with his childhood sweetheart Caggie, then dumping his girlfriend Funda; Francis pulling out a pineapple while having his portrait painte. As Caggie once said: 'In Chelsea the truth is more fabulous than fiction.' The truth/fiction dilemma presents the only moral quandary that has lasted longer than a single episode - is this reality TV? is suburban nightclubs, boxing rings, pool parties and beauty salons for acrylic nails and vajazzling; Chelsea is Raffles, 86, and Francis - descended from French knights - working as a diamond dealer. 'Traditional soaps are in viewers' front rooms five nights a week and the line between actor and character gets slightly blurred,' explains Kate Woodward, news editor at magazine. Viewers can find the stars on Twitter, they can talk to them through Facebook, stalk them at premieres and they don't have to worry about them being different people in real life.' 'I'm going out with Hugo now,' Millie tells me. They put us together when we wouldn't have spent time together.
('One day all this will become clear,' he told the artist); Hugo chasing Millie. In Essex they say 'shuutuup' and 'reem'; in Chelsea, it's 'totes maze' and 'awwwwesome'. Daran Little, story producer on Chelsea, worked on the first season of and Coronation Street. This was a revelation when we spoke but, thanks to episode six, is a widely-known fact today. We all watched the shows together and I saw him leading me on and leading Rosie on and it became a catalyst. Like, I've always been interested in fashion and now, because of the show I've got an internship on a fashion magazine.' At one point people weren't sure if Millie was real - summers at the family home in Menorca, friends on Cap d'Antibes, oxygen facials and ridiculous cheekbones.
I'm like, "Don't shake darling, you should have seen me when I was cleaning up sick."' Millie reports the same thing - autograph hunters at Polo in the Park, being recognised on the King's Road It's like all over again. But they're all wary of taking part in a second series, unlike the cast of Essex, although with media careers beckoning they're not going to be absent from our screens. 'It doesn't have to be highbrow, it's entertaining. ' ES EVERYONE WORTH KNOWING IN CHELSEA Caggie Dunlop The 21-year-old went to The Harrodian (where Robert Pattinson was also a pupil) and Wellington College, is obsessed with old friend Spencer and wants to be a singer-songwriter.
If it's funny,it's good drama and people watch it, I think it's got a right to be on TV.' Critics have described look like Dostoevsky'. 'Yeah, yeah, but how many Baftas did Dostoevsky win? She backpacked around the world with best friend Millie Mackintosh who effectively lives in a spa, holidays in the French Riviera and hates carbs as much as she lovesher own childhood sweetheart Hugo Taylor, an old Harrovian and SW3 club promoter.